Aunt Hilda was everything
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This is really helpful.
Always remember that it is not classy or professional to use your social media platforms to vent about people in your personal life.
You Might For Some Reason Needs This One Day…
#thanks tumblr #you teached me #how to break into a car #with shoelace #how to escape from buried coffin #how to open closed doors with #safety pin #and now this #iam fully prepared #to attendance #into adulthood
Perhaps one day Tumblr can learn us the past tense of teach…
Apparently if you saw yourself in person, you wouldn’t recognise yourself
So my biggest question is, WHAT THE FUCK do I look like
And do I look hot
So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT
But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut.
but what did your driving instructor say
WHAT DID HE SAY
THIS IS NOT A FUN CLIFFHANGER
152,000 people want to know what your teacher responded.
Emergency blog kitteh in a sample size tent.
I’m a cat and I’ve always wanted to take one of those
We all have that one person who helps keep us grounded.
What… the… FUCK?!
School logic. You protect yourself and others and get punished because you choose to act rather than be silent and let them do whatever they want. Its the policy they have for everything, from bullying to this.
okay what the actual fuck
Yep if someone hits you you get suspended whether you hit back or not
How does someone not homeschooled ever confused by this concept?
My sister got jumped, she defended herself, and they gave her and her attacker the exact same punishment, then tried to get them to be friends. Yeah.
A sense of humor can make everything better. Sex isn’t like it is in the movies or in porn. There will be strange and weird and awkward sounds, there might be a silly interruption like the cat or a kid… you might knock heads or trip getting undressed. Sex is funny, foreplay is funny and sometimes you need to just laugh. It will keep things from getting awkward! If you take sex too seriously you aren’t truly enjoying it!
Not to mention a sense of humor can be really sexy no matter what your gender identity is!
this comic is literally my favorite thing on tumblr.
i’ve always said if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with while you’re having sex with them you shouldn’t be having sex with them.
My husband once walked up behind me while i was sitting in the living room just watching t.v…and he put his penis on my shoulder and said “hello..”
THIS WAS HIS SEDUCTION.
THIS WAS HIS IDEA OF HOW TO GET ME INTO BED.
it worked, but not before I laughed for days.
For that last comment.
I always had a ton of weird funky condoms at my place because I volunteered with Planned Parenthood and did a lot of sex education and sex positive work. I literally had no less than like thirty different types of condoms at a time. So when it came time to grabbing a condom it was a grab bag of WHO KNOWS what you’ll end up with.
Long story short, my boyfriend grabs one, puts it on, heat of the moment type thing, a some point we both look down and see it’s an ELECTRIC GREEN condom. Dead pan he looks me straight in the eye and in his best impression goes “HEY HO. KERMIT DEE FROG HERE.” And I COMPLETELY LOST IT.
On a completely different occasion I said “don’t stop” and he sang ALL of Don’t Stop Believing. All of it. All of it. Right then and there. Without stopping.
Can I add the story about how me and one of my partners had a very enthralling discussion about deserts while I was on top of him?
Or the time my partner’s friends blasted “Eye of the Tiger” through the door and we rocked it out to the beat while quoting the movie?
I was with this girl during a trip out to Washington, we’d hung out a few times, and hit it off really well. So we got together one afternoon. Her dorm-mate came home, saw the “Do Not Disturb” sock on her bedroom door and called out “Thrusters to full!”
Not missing a beat the girl and I yelled back “We’re giving it all we’ve got, Captain!” and her roommate started fucking dying outside the door.
Probably should have proposed right on the spot, but whatever.
It got better.